Mental health remains a sensitive topic, and broaching the subject of therapy with a partner can be challenging, especially when there’s resistance.
Kabir Bedi’s account of his relationship with Parveen Babi highlights the difficulty of encouraging someone you love to seek help while respecting their autonomy. In a conversation with Digital Commentary, Bedi recalled how he felt her condition getting worse after she accompanied him to Italy and then London after the success of his television show Sandokan. “I could see that her condition was getting worse. And I told her that you must take treatment. But she did not agree to it at all. I knew that if she does not take any treatment, her condition might get worse. And this is why we eventually separated,” he said.
He then went on to clarify that it was Babi who chose to put an end to their relationship. “She left me because she was afraid that I will force her to have treatment. Paranoid minds are scared of everything. She was scared that if some doctor gets to know, he might tell someone, and her career might get over,” he said and added, “Parveen Babi left me, I didn’t leave her.”
When a partner is hesitant about seeking mental health treatment, it’s crucial to approach the dialogue without judgement and with an understanding of their fears or concerns. Crafting the conversation in a supportive way can make all the difference in helping them feel reassured and open to the idea.
Suggesting therapy as a treatment — similar to how we seek treatment for physical health — can help (Source: Freepik)
Approaching a partner about seeking therapy without making them feel judged
Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, says, “Talking about seeking therapy in India can be delicate; for many, mental health remains a sensitive topic, often intertwined with misconceptions of weakness and failure.
Starting a conversation requires empathy. Rather than saying, ‘You need help,’ one can say, ‘I have noticed you’ve been stressed lately; would you like to talk about it?’ Softening the approach assures the partner that you are there for them but also suggests that you are not providing a fix or implying inadequacy.”
She adds that therapy should be offered as an option, not as a fix or a requirement. Presenting it as something that can provide support helps create a safer environment where one feels in control of one’s decision.
Effective ways to address concerns about the stigma of mental health treatment
Mental health stigma remains pervasive in India, says Khangarot, and it’s crucial to address it gently.
“Suggesting therapy as a treatment—similar to how we seek treatment for physical health—can help. Therapy is psychological care aimed at reducing or eliminating mental health concerns to improve the quality of life. One can acknowledge that seeking therapy hasn’t been widely discussed and may feel uncertain or new. However, framing therapy as a self-care tool rather than a stigma is important for changing perspectives,” she mentions.
Strategies to frame the conversation in a way that prioritises the partner’s well-being and autonomy
“Forcing someone into therapy is not ideal, so it’s essential to ensure that you’re not pushing your partner into seeking help simply because you don’t know what to do,” stresses Khangarot.
The intentions and bond between partners should drive the approach. “Framing statements in a way that reflects care and love can help. For example, saying, ‘I want you to feel supported, and I feel therapy could be one way to achieve that,’ can be effective. Using ‘I’ statements like, ‘I want you to feel your best,’ ensures that the focus is on their happiness and well-being rather than blaming or shaming them for their struggles,” she notes.
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