With five young children, Linnea Chambery had found herself at one of her most challenging points as a mother. Facing a host of family health issues, including a child with ongoing health complications, Chambery and her husband had started to feel as if there was no end in sight to their constant struggles in parenthood. But one day, Chambery came across a video on social media discussing — of all things — the color of flamingos.
In the video, a content creator named Lindsey Gurk said flamingos can lose their pink color when caring for their young but get it back over time. Using the flamingos as a metaphor for her fellow parents who felt overwhelmed, Gurk reminded them that it was temporary and offered advice: “If you’re feeling not quite like yourself, maybe you’re feeling a little bit drained, just keep in mind you’re doing it all for your chicks.”
She soon added, “We are never given more than we can carry, and we will get our pink back.” At such a dark time, Chambery had found a glimmer of hope. “It hit me in this moment,” said Chambery, now 38 and living in Rochester, New York, said in an interview. “It is going to get better. This is not going to be like this forever.” What started as a short video years ago has since become a movement, as Gurk has encouraged fellow moms to “get your pink back.”
In recent years, some 5.5 million TikTok videos have been posted about the topic. There have been thousands of posts on Instagram, long Reddit threads and even Facebook groups dedicated to parents finding their own approaches to feeling better. And last week, the movement grew to an even greater audience after a conversation on Kylie Kelce’s new hit podcast “Not Gonna Lie,” in which she and her guest, content creator and podcast host Allison Kuch, discussed the concept.
A clip of their conversation has amassed more than 900,000 views on TikTok in just a week. In the more than 400 comments, some women described how the “pink back” concept had inspired them to get flamingo tattoos, while others said they wished they had heard about it years ago, when it could have helped them.
The period of time after having a baby can come with a range of emotions, including the “baby blues” or postpartum depression, anxiety or psychosis, said Dr. Catherine Birndorf, founder and CEO of the Motherhood Center of New York.
Although these topics are now more widely discussed than in past decades, Birndorf said, there are still societal expectations for mothers to act perfectly even as their lives, hormones and bodies are changing.
“You can lose yourself to motherhood,” Birndorf said. “You have to attend to this totally dependent human being, so you lose time, sleep, connection with the outside world, and temporarily you may feel very disconnected from who you were and your whole sense of self.”
As a result, it is vital for new mothers to take care of themselves apart from their identity as parents, Birndorf said.
Gurk, who could not be reached for this article, said in an interview with a CBS affiliate last year that she felt “completely lost” as a new parent, and then she learned the fact about flamingos. Soon after sharing it on social media, the message took off, with moms reaching out to her to relay their own experiences postpartum.
In the years that followed, a community formed: Moms across TikTok, Reddit, Instagram and beyond were sharing what helped them “get their pink back.” Although the movement doesn’t encourage any specific prescription for feeling like yourself again, or any timeline for how long it should take, women began to offer their own strategies.
Their suggestions for helping other moms feel closer to their pre-baby selves included returning to former hobbies, exercising, going back to work, or simply showering and getting dressed in the morning.
The movement also became a brand for Gurk, who created her own line of “get your pink back” merchandise, with many items prominently featuring the signature pink bird that originally inspired her.
One of Gurk’s sweatshirts made its way to Kuch — a gift from her husband, NFL player Isaac Rochell — when the couple’s daughter was 3 months old. Kuch, 29, has since embraced the movement and used her social media platforms to highlight the concept and share the ways she is rediscovering herself.
“As a mom, you’re constantly pouring out of your own cup, and I think it’s important to also find things to fill it back up,” Kuch said in an interview, adding that the movement inspired her to start working out again, plan trips or even take time for herself by simply grabbing a cup of coffee.
Tamie Konzier, a 40-year-old mother from Pittsburgh, said she felt lost after experiencing postpartum depression when her son was born and then struggling to get pregnant again before having her daughter. But after years of exhaustion, Konzier said she eventually found a rhythm and a routine with her husband and her children, now 10 and 5.
“I know what I need from my partner, I know how to parent my kids, I like what I’m doing in my career — it all just clicked,” Konzier said in an interview. “I’m me again.”
For some, “getting your pink back” meant seeking professional help. Crystal Obasanya, a 30-year-old mother and licensed clinical social worker from Dallas, said she experienced postpartum anxiety after the birth of her son and sought out weekly therapy as part of her treatment.
Obasanya, who has shared her gradual postpartum journey online as a content creator, said she finds the message of “it gets better” to be reassuring.
“This is not an indictment on the rest of your life,” Obasanya said of the postpartum period in an interview. “You will feel joy again. You will have stability. You will feel regulated again. It’s almost like you’re on a train — you’re just passing by.”
For Chambery, the process took time and involved building confidence as a parent and starting her own business. In some ways, she felt as if she had gotten her old self back. But there were also new aspects.
“In some ways, I’m brighter,” Chambery said. “I’m constantly evolving, and I just feel grateful for even going through it.”
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